Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The End Is Near I Fear

So I've known that I will be graduating from college in December for quite some time now, but just because I've know that does not mean that I've actually accepted it.

Last night at work I looked up the actual graduation date (December 7th) and called my parents to let them know so they can plan accordingly.  After getting off the phone with my mom I had a mini panic attack. I mean I'm 11 credits shy of graduating which means the end is inevitable and I will be a college graduate in less than a year. A college graduate embarking on the real world.  A college graduate with no absolute plan for the future. I have no clear idea what my life will look like on December 8th. And that my friends, scares the living crap out of me.

I've spent the past 6 months planning on what life will be like post-grad, but now that I have a definitive date I am kind of freaking out a little. I have a lot of what ifs right now. What if I move to D.C., what if I get a job in Arizona, what if I stay in Laramie, what if I move back to Denver, what if I find a corner to hide in until I magically revert back to my college freshman self.....

For months I've been anticipating graduation and now I'm completely dreading it.  I could have walked at the end of this semester and taken classes over the summer to finish my degree but I convinced myself that it was not worth the stress. Now in less than one year I will be receiving my diploma and embarking on the real world, is it crazy that graduation is also the anniversary of Pearl Harbor? I mean it's probably just a coincidence that one of our nation's greatest tragedies also happens to be the day I embark on the work force....right?

I know I'm not the only college student to freak out about graduating but I feel an overwhelming sense of fear and mournfulness.  I love my life as a college student and I don't know how ready I am to give that up, but I suppose I don't exactly have a choice now do I?

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